Madness

I live with Madness. We are two, trapped in a cell with walls that reach to infinity. Smooth walls, that we can not scale. There is no way out. We turn to each other, our nails grown long and gnarled, our stomachs and minds hungry. We tear and rent skin, we snap at flesh, we crunch on bone.

I clutch Madness. She, protean, changes in my grasp. I hold an old woman, a moment later, a snarling child slips my grasp. There are feral glints in her eyes. In seconds, she matures into a full-grown woman. She walks with pride, there is beauty and grace in her movements. But I see jealousy, I smell anger, her tongue flicks out, like a dragon, and her breath is hot with fire.

There is a flaw that beats in her brain, like a pulse, polluting her blood, infecting her senses. She sees black in white, and darkness where there is sunshine. Where there is beauty, she sees ugliness, where one finds pleasure, she is tortured by pain. Her moans poison the air, fill my ears. I clutch my head, press my fingers into my ears, to block her sound. But some particle slips past and swirls into my head. I am infected, Madness blossoms inside of me. I hear her laugh, her manic laugh in my brain, and I feel her fire burn my insides.

I douse myself in cold water. Madness retreats. It is now just a slow poison that blocks my brain and leaves me sluggish.

Meanwhile she has changed. She is a starving, wide-eyed child. Her skin hangs off her bones, her jaw falls slack. She looks at me, but doesn't see me. When I approach, she shies away. When I touch, she bites me. I stare at flesh, blood drips - she sucks at my wound, and the madness is borne away.

I hammer at the walls. There is no way out. Every day, the walls move closer. I cry, I shriek for help - but no one comes. I hear nothing of the outside world. There must be world, beyond this - I think - beyond her and me.

She is dying at dusk. How do I know it is dusk? The sun is too far overhead for us to see, this walls stretch to infinity. But the shadows darken and lengthen. She lies on the floor, her flesh weak.

I force food down her throat. She struggles but I pin her down.

She falls asleep. I wonder if perhaps, we are the only two in the world. I have never seen anyone else. Perhaps it is just us.

I scream. A hand seems to grasp my heart, squeeze my breath out. The walls move closer, the ground seems to tilt. She sits up now, stares at me. She pulls me away from the wall. My nails are bleeding - I stare at them. I hear howling. Her mouth is closed. I am howling.

She smiles. She places her hand over my mouth. I bite her palm. She jerks back in surprise. There is anger in her eyes, in the twist of her mouth. She bares her teeth, and wraps her hands around my throat. She presses down, choking me. I struggle, my vision blurs. I kick, I ram my hands into her soft, child-like body. I dig my nails into her arms.

Finally she falls off. Now she lies, spent, on the floor.

We both lie, unmoving.

Night comes.

How will it end, I wonder? I can not remember how it began. But we have always been here, her and I, in this cramped space, in this windowless, cell.

I wonder if there is a God. A demon. Good and Evil. Sometimes, I think, if there is only two of us, one of us must be God, one of us must be the devil. One of us with the power to create, one of us with the power to kill. But here, trapped in this space, our powers cancel out.

A vision visits me. I am clothed in diamonds and black, she is wearing pearls and white. We stand next to each other. I wear a crown of blue feathers, she wears one of red. I smell blood. I look down. There is a headless body before me, sprawled on the ground by my feet, blood staining the edge of my robe. I touch my hands to my face, there is blood dripping down my mouth. I spit out a bone. I look at her, her mouth is red, her teeth sharp and pointed. She opens her mouth wide, I glimpse an eyeball on her tongue.

A moment later we are running through a dark forest. A herd of townspeople follow us, crying in rage, bearing pitchforks and torches. A sorcerer leads them, he weaves a spell and flings it at us. We are caught, in his spell, and around us, jagged boulders rise, like teeth, from the earth. We are trapped. The sorcerer laughs, and the spaces between the stones disappear. We are imprisoned in a room, with high walls.

I wake up, screaming. She is leaning over me, her mouth open. She grabs my hand and brings her mouth down on it. Her teeth pierce my skin, graze my bone. I scream and shake her off. I throw her against a wall. A bone snaps, and she lies, broken.

Was it a dream or a memory?

Madness lies asleep, her bones have healed. I try to dig the ground, but it is hard stone, and refuses to budge.

I wonder what I look like. Do I look lke Madness? Is my face the same as hers? Sometimes, when I look at her, I feel like I am staring at a mirror. But I do not know what I look like. I have forgotten. I know only the shape of my hands, the shape of my body, but I do not know what is on my face.

When Madness awakens, I take hold of her. I push down her. She wraps her hands around my throat and squeezes. I look at her face. I am suprised. There is no anger, no fire. Her eyes are tired, pleading. There is a question, a word - that eludes me. But I think I know what she means. She tightens her hold. I tighten mine. We both squeeze, strength ebbing. I do not let go. Her hold slakens for a moment, but then, from somewhere, she finds the strength to go on. I can not breathe. My vision turns pink. I can not see Madness, I can barely feel her....there is numbness spreading across....I hope, I hope so much...I hope that...

this
is
how it
ends